Life in the After

Living during the time of a pandemic was never something that ever crossed any of our minds, let alone thinking about how you live after a pandemic. 

There are those who have experienced a lot of change in their daily lives but have been cushioned by circumstance against the full blows of this moment. 

For others, especially marginalized communities, this has been a time of excruciating loss and heartbreak.  Those who have lost loved ones, lifelong dreams, ways of earning a living  -  their way forward will be through grief and rebuilding, a process that will certainly take years. 

In recent days a saying has been circulating that “Everyone has been in the same storm but not everyone has been in the same boat”.  

To those of you whose boat was not built for this kind of storm, whose lives have been altered in an irreversible way - my heart is with you. 

You did not ask for this. 

Your boat was not big enough to weather the storm and that was not your fault. 

When grief and anger and confusion rise up within you, let them speak of the pain and injustice you have lived through in this moment.  Your voice needs to be heard.  And in the days to come we must learn together how to build our boats in new ways, with more care and concern for not only ourselves, but each other. 

In the after of this time, we will find our way through, but only as we recognize the dependency that we have on each other. 

Dependency is inescapable and can make us feel vulnerable to each other. 

However, considering what dependency means in the context of healthy attachment, we can use it as a way to connect us to each other, to lean on each other in difficulty, and to have access to resources we otherwise would not have had.   

May you have a place to be dependent on and to be depended on.